Drinking Night
by Metarie
Summary: Intoxication and bad ideas - just your average guys' night in on the Enterprise.


_**Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing in the sandbox.**_

_**A/N: I found half of this in an old notebook and decided to finish it. I am amused by it, so hopefully you are too. :)**_

* * *

It's drinking night. (But when is it not?)

"Guys, guys, guys." Kirk leans forward, excitedly. "I know what we should do." He looks around at each of them. He's very drunk. _"We should start a band."_

"That'd be _brilliant,"_ says Scotty, very drunk, saying things he doesn't mean.

"No it wouldn't," says McCoy, very drunk, saying things he vehemently means.

"Does any of us even play a musical instrument?" asks Sulu, who has been nursing the same bottle of beer all night and is really only here to prevent terrible decisions from being made.

"No, we don't," says McCoy. He doesn't know this for a fact, but maybe if he gives enough negative feedback, this ridiculous idea will go away.

"I'm pretty bitchin' at guitar," Kirk brags.

"Is that true?" Sulu asks.

"No," says McCoy.

"Well, I'm bitchin' at Guitar Hero Classic," says Kirk defiantly.

"That's not the same thing," says Sulu.

"I can play drums," says Scotty. "I used to play drums, in school."

"When? At the Academy?" Sulu asks, surprised.

"Ah... before that," says Scotty. "It was... before that, back in Aberdeen. School there. I was in band. You know what, never mind. It doesn't matter, I was rubbish."

"Spock!" says Kirk, brightening up . "He plays that Vulcan harp thing! He can be in it!"

"Uh," says Sulu.

"And Scotty can play drums!"

"He just said he can't," McCoy points out.

"I'm rubbish," Scotty says miserably into his Scotch.

"I'll be on lead guitar, and I'll sing. It'll be great."

"It will not be great. It will be a lot of things, and 'great' is not one of them. Especially if _you're_ singing."

"Bones, why are you so grumpy?" Kirk asks, slurring his words. "Did you and Chapel have a fight or something?"

"No," McCoy lies.

"You're always in a bitchy mood." Kirk rolls his eyes. "You and Chapel must fight, like, 24/7."

"They do fight a lot," says Sulu, ever objective.

"How would you know that?" asks Scotty.

"People talk, you know," says Sulu, shrugging. "I have ears. I hear things."

"Unbelievable," says McCoy.

"I bet the _make-up sex_ is unbelievable," says Kirk, elbowing the doctor. "Eh? Eh, Bones?"

"You're an idiot," says McCoy.

"That means yes," says Kirk.

"I need another beer." McCoy gets up and stumbles across the room to the replicator.

"Let's brainstorm band names," says Kirk. "What about... Shimmering Stab Wound."

"No," says Sulu.

"Stripey Leopard," says Scotty. "Spotted Zebra. Laughing Vulcans."

"No," says Sulu.

"What the hell's wrong with this damn thing?" says McCoy, cursing at the replicator.

"Guess the _Enterprise_ thinks you've had enough," says Sulu.

"I hate it when that happens," says Scotty.

"Fuck," says McCoy.

"Must be time for you to go home, Bones," says Kirk. "Chapel's waiting..."

"Yeah, she probably is," says McCoy, sitting back down at the table with an irritated huff. "How are you and Yeoman Rand doing, by the way?"

"Oh, _called out,"_ says Sulu, who is very entertained.

"I don't know what you're talking about," says Kirk, who very obviously knows exactly what he is talking about.

"Of course not," says McCoy, rolling his eyes.

"I assure you, my relationship with Janice - I mean, Yeoman Rand... is strictly professional..." Kirk trails off.

"Uh huh," says McCoy.

"It is!" protests Kirk.

"That's not what I heard," says Sulu. "And this time I literally mean _heard._ My quarters share a wall with yours, Captain."

"But... it's supposed to be a secret," says Kirk, upset.

"Yeah," says Sulu. "It's not."

Kirk looks around at all of them. "Does everyone...?"

"Yes," says Scotty, nodding. "Made it all the way down to Engineering. And we're always the last to know everything, so..."

"Well," says Kirk, trying to regain as much composure as a drunk man can. "Well. Well then."

"S'okay," says Scotty, waving his hand. "When our band starts playing gigs, it'll give them something else to talk about."

"That's for sure," says Sulu, as Kirk immediately brightens up.

--

Sitting comfortably in the captain's chair, Spock reviews a few recent research reports from the captain's chair. The bridge is deserted and serene, Delta shift having the fewest number of crew members necessary to operate the ship. As First Officer, Spock doesn't have to be here, but occasionally he enjoys the peace and quiet, and so he takes a few liberties with the schedule in order to obtain it.

And, occasionally, he may or may not reschedule Lt. Uhura to this shift with him. There is no point to the privileges that are afforded senior crew members unless one takes advantage of them. And Spock, quite logically, does so frequently.

The comm system buzzes. "Kirk to Spock. Or, bridge, whatever... that's where you are, right? That's why you're being totally square and not drinking with us?"

"Spock here," the Vulcan answers, somewhat warily. "Yes, Captain, I am currently on the bridge."

"Spock. We've had the greatest idea in the history of ideas that are great."

"No, _we_ have had no such thing," protests Dr. McCoy in the background. "You. _You."_

"Commander, I apologize in advance for what is about to happen," says Sulu, laughing.

"We're starting a band," says Scotty, excitedly.

"It's called... Gorn Soup," says Kirk, dramatically.

"Wait, what about Ample Nacelles?" Scotty asks, confused. "I like Ample Nacelles..."

"We can decide later," says Kirk, dismissively. "But Spock, the point is, we're starting a band."

"And you get to be in it!" says Scotty.

"Yeah, on your harp thing," says Kirk.

"My 'harp thing' is called a lytherette," says Spock, evenly.

"Whatever," says Kirk. "Anyway it'll be great. We can talk about it more tomorrow, at morning meeting. But start writing songs, Spock, 'cause we're gonna need 'em! Kirk out!"

Spock slowly spins his chair around to look at Lt. Uhura, who is biting her lip in amusement.

"They were intoxicated," Spock says.

"Yes," says Uhura. "I would say... very much so."

"Then I am correct in the assumption that this desire of the Captain's to create a musical group will fade as his blood alcohol content lowers?"

Uhura laughs. "One can only hope."

Spock nods. "That is a relief," he says, and he goes back to his research reports.

* * *

_**Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!**_


End file.
